One road to happiness - making a difference by volunteering.

This was published in The York Press on Tuesday, March 1st 2016.
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/features/health/14309655.Body__mind_and_soul__making_a_difference/

When Terry Wogan died recently, some of his quotes were mentioned in articles about his life. I liked this one: “The way to happiness is to give yourself to others and to think of others before you think of yourself.”  I would add that also needing some ‘own time’ and ‘own space’ is not being selfish. It’s about having a balanced lifestyle to be emotionally healthy.

This brings me back to the subject of volunteering, the topic of this column last July. At the time, I was considering some local volunteering opportunities. It took time while all the necessary checks were carried out and in one case, some training. Patience was required. Seven months later, I am a visitor for Victim Support and a volunteer hospital play worker. 

The hospital work brings me great joy and I didn’t even know this position was available. Perhaps some of you are not aware of how you could volunteer. I thought of people I know and the voluntary work they do. It may give you some ideas too. 

• Working in hospitals. Running a website. Dog walking. Pet sitting.
• Local environmental projects. Helping in schools. Shopping. Gardening. 
• Youth groups. Hospital driver. Victim Support visitor. Charity shops.
• A Trustee of a charity. Community projects. Local service organisations.
• Local and National campaigns. Library assistants. Support groups.
• Religious groups. Local theatre groups. Writing. Political groups.
• Charity shops. Sports clubs and events. Prison visiting. Teaching.
• Historic buildings and gardens. Advocacy groups. Singing groups.

There is something for everyone and with a variety of time commitment.  Perhaps you’re tempted, but don’t think you could be of any help. You can help. You have skills that could help others. You can make a difference. When the enormity of the world’s problems seem too much, I recall this story.

A man was walking along a beach. As he walked, he could see a boy in the distance and he noticed that the boy kept bending down, picking something up and throwing it into the water. As the man walked nearer, he was able to see that the boy was picking up starfish that had been washed up on the beach and, one at a time he was throwing them back into the water. The man asked the boy what he was doing, the boy replied," I am throwing these washed up starfish back into the ocean, or else they will die through lack of oxygen. "But", said the man, "You can't possibly save them all, there are thousands on this beach. You can't possibly make a difference." The boy smiled, bent down and picked up another starfish, and as he threw it back into the sea, he replied, “I’ve made a difference to that one.”

©AlisonRRussell2016

Happiness is only temporary – being content is the way.

This is the extended January 2015 column from the York Press.

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/author/profile/42456/

Happiness is only temporary – being content is the way

Two topics came to mind for this New Year column.

1. Happiness
2. Procrastination.

Given the nature of procrastination, I will defer that subject until next month and write about happiness.

Most of us have spent the past few weeks wishing a Happy Christmas and Happy New Year to friends, family and people we have met randomly.

The sentiment is genuine, but what do we really mean by ‘happy’? Each of us will feel happy for different reasons. We can be suckers for the advertiser’s dream of happiness. Sooner or later, what can follow from a purchase is disappointment, a dashing of expectations.  If we base our happiness solely on material gain, the outcome often wears off quite quickly. There lies one of the roots of addiction too.

In a positive thinking list I read recently, it stated. “Life is meant to be easy, beautiful and overflowing with moments of joy and bliss.”  The latter sentiment I’ll agree with, but certainly not with the former.  Life is hard at times, that’s normal. A problem highlighted by head teachers is that too many children are being over protected by well-meaning parents. One day, life will be hard for them and if the child is ill prepared, it’s going to come as a shock and difficult to manage. Over protection isn’t a good idea and nor is always rewarding difficulties. I’ve known adults unable to manage day to day living, due to expecting rewards when difficulties arise.

This is the list I have mentioned. Some helpful, some not so. Make up your own mind.

*http://www.huffingtonpost.com/elyse-gorman/15-damaging-myths-about-l_b_6324636.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000063

A true sense of achievement comes when a task or experience has been hard and challenging. Otherwise how do we learn? 

I prefer the word ‘contentment’ to ‘happy’. It’s a deeper experience. Happiness isn’t a constant state, it can’t possibly be. A minute, hour or day, but rarely longer. So often we can miss those moments too, not realising how special they were at the time.

"I just want to be happy". That statement must be one of the most commonly heard by therapists and doctors. Anti-depressants can be known by a most unfortunate and incorrect label, 'happy pills'. 'Happy pills'? Not working in many cases, are they?

Problems can arise if when we are presented with difficulties and either,

a) believe that the past can be changed, which is impossible. People remain unhappy, while continuing to chase an impossible fantasy.

b) believe that someone else or something else will make us happy. When this doesn't happen, we don’t look at ourselves for a solution, but blame others.

For simple moments of happiness, I like counting blessings and enjoying simple pleasures, especially the ones provided by nature. I also think that happiness is so often a bittersweet experience. As a woman once said to me, "It's like childbirth. A great deal of happiness, but a whole lot of pain too.”

I wish you a well-balanced 2015.

*NB:
While this column had been written around Christmas time, I heard AL Kennedy talking about the subject, more eloquently on Radio 4 in the New Year.

*http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-30655616?ns_mchannel=social&ns_campaign=bbc_news&ns_source=google_plus&ns_linkname=news_central

©AlisonRRussell2015